Balance + Mindset

Three Simple Tricks To Quiet Your Inner Mean Girl

A spark of genius. A flash of insight.

You’re inspired and called to action and you enthusiastically start taking steps towards making your dream a reality; creating a new product, writing a proposal, starting a fresh work of art.

As the days and weeks progress, the inevitable hurdles appear. You lose a bit of momentum and soon a critical voice tells you you’re not smart enough to pull this off.

What were you thinking? You’ve never done anything like this before, why is anyone going to listen to you?

That inner mean girl starts talking fast and furious about all the ways you’re going to fail, making you feel worse and more fearful by the minute.

It feels like everything she tells you is true and soon you’re considering delaying the project.


The good news is that your inner critic takes over simply because you let her, but you don’t have to. You can quietly close the door on her so that you can focus and get back to work on your passion project.

The truth is, there are specific techniques that help drown out that voice so you can keep moving forward on your goals without passing the reigns over to the fearful lady with the loudspeaker.

With a little practice you’ll become adept at spotting her crazy eyes when they appear so the amount of time you spend listening to her stories becomes less and less.

1. Name Your Critic

When you first notice the critical voice talking to you, it’s easy to think that it’s you talking. In actuality that voice is not you, it’s the reptilian part of your mind that’s supposed to keep you safe and out of harms way.

By giving her a name you can start to distance the effect her words have on you and recognize her as the imposter that she is…and that she is not you. It’s especially effective if you name her something non-threatening like Liz {short for Lizard} or Pat.

You can take it one step further by giving her a signature outfit, an accent and coming up with a background story about why she’s never satisfied. It’ll make her less like you and easier to disidentify yourself from when she speaks up and think, oh there goes Liz again.

2. Say Thank You

Coming back to the thought that this voice is here to protect you from potential harm, by acknowledging the voice and telling her thank you for doing such a phenomenal job, the critic is heard. And once she’s been acknowledged, the mean girl doesn’t need to fight for attention and get louder.

Instead, it will soften and get quieter because it’s been recognized. It’s a win-win because you’ve stopped to see if there is a potential threat and when you realize, nope it’s all clear, the inner critic will have done its job. Which frees you to focus on the task it was trying to pull you away from.

3. You Are Enough

The reason your inner mean girl has so much sway mentally is that she plays to all of your perceived weaknesses…almost all of which boil down to not feeling you’re enough in some capacity.

By telling yourself “I Am Enough” often, it becomes a pattern interrupt that subtly quiets that voice and puts you back in the driver’s seat. This one phrase has literally helped thousands of women to overcome self-doubt and feeling unworthy of their dreams.

Say it out loud to yourself right now and see what it feels like in your body. A lot of women experience an openness and lightness in their chest immediately.

Tell yourself you are enough several times a day and whenever your inner mean girl shows up and notice how she quiets down.

It takes practice and patience, but the more diligent you are in separating yourself from your inner mean girl the less intertwined your thoughts will be.

Soon when she shows up you’ll be able to thank her and point her to her rightful seat…in the back row of your mind next to the brawlers Fight and Flight. 

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